equivocations | open rp post

[ He doesn't know where he's going. He cannot remember the last time he didn't - no. No, that isn't strictly true. There were many times in Cloud Recesses that he set out without a clear direction, only intending to take the time of the walk to allow his mind to calm, to let himself be led wherever he might end up.

But this is no meditative walk through the trees, where the purpose was the lack of direction, and he can't allow himself to think of it now. If he does, he will only wonder about his uncle, his brother, his disciples, and he can't allow himself to become compromised. He can't give in to the feeling that he should be back there, protecting them. He must remind himself that what he is currently safeguarding is no less important.

At first he has no thought but moving swiftly and without detection, staying hidden and getting as far from what's left of his home as he can. He must find somewhere safe, to hide the treasures he carries and regroup. By the time that thought begins to crystallize, he realizes he is on his way to the Unclean Realm. Despite everything, the realization sparks the tiniest hint of a smile.

Of course. Where else would he go, what other ally could he trust aside from Nie Mingjue to -

No. The Wen clan has already attacked Qinghe once and will surely come back. He cannot risk bringing more trouble to his friend's door at this moment any more than he can risk going there expecting help and finding the very people he is hiding from.

He shifts course, and finds himself moving through a village whose name he doesn't yet know, when he spots a very familiar figure.

And he knows that he shouldn't draw attention to himself in any way, and yet - yet he moves closer. ]

Meng Yao?

Edited 2020-05-24 08:53 (UTC)

❰ meng yao was lucky to escape from the unclean realm with his life. chifeng zun is many things, but permissive is not anywhere near the list — how could it be, when he has all of qishan wen bearing down his neck every other year? to be permissive is to invite insubordination is to invite the ruin of the clan, and all the other clans besides. the correct thing to do, according to qinghe nie precepts, would have been to take his life as justice for the life he took.

but nie mingjue has a heart, beneath all that rigid black and white thinking, and he couldn't bear to kill his trusted assistant.

meng yao is very, very lucky.

this is what he tells himself as he makes his way across the lands, trying to stave off infection in his wounded shoulder and figure out where to go next. who else might take him, what connections does he have, what contacts — not many that chifeng zun wouldn't admonish not to help him, and fewer still that he could come to without anything in return. there are no favours he can offer, no tokens — he needs to think fast, stay ahead of the wen, and come up with a strategy.

a strategy that doesn't involve running right into another of the wen clan's temper tantrums, preferably, except that he just keeps thinking of zewu jun. zewu jun whose cloud recesses are in ruins, zewu jun who might not even be alive —

no, he's ranked number one in the cultivation world for a reason. zewu jun is still alive, he must be. but his clan, his uncle, his brother — they may not be alive, and that would hurt zewu jun so much more than anything else.

still. it's foolish to run into gusu with no plan but "find zewu jun". meng yao isn't generally a foolish man.

he's stopped in a village at the border of lanling and gusu, trying to convince himself to just keep going, to find somewhere the wen haven't yet reached — maybe lotus pier, wei gongzi and jiang gongzi can vouch for his capability, he could make himself useful there —

when he hears his own name, and he looks up, wary, only to feel his heart jump into his throat. he opens his mouth to call out his title and begins to raise his arms for a bow, but — if there are wen spies here —

he switches tacks quickly, waves one hand and smiles and beckons zewu jun closer. forgive him for his impudence and play along, please! ❱

My friend! It's been too long. How have you been since we last met?

❰ are you injured? do you need healing? ❱

[ It's easily forgiven, in part because Lan Xichen was already moving towards him - to catch his bow, of course, though for different reasons than because there could be spies about. His hand lowers when Meng Yao catches himself, though he keeps moving forward to join his side.

He barely knows Meng Yao, aside from the praises that Nie Mingjue shared with him and their brief moments in Cloud Recesses, but he believes he knows him well enough to understand that it isn't their previous conversation that makes him stop his bow. Even as he'd watched him leave, Lan Xichen had known that once wouldn't be enough to change Meng Yao's mind. He'd wondered if - hoped - he would get the chance to try to convince him again.

It's unfortunate that it's like this.

His small smile at the familiar greeting is just a touch grateful - of course Meng Yao already thought of it, what calling his title might do to draw attention to them, and took pangs to circumvent it. ]

I have missed you, since we last met.

[ And though he's playing a part - he's not, because his words are genuine. He stands closer than he might allow himself to back in Cloud Recesses, eyes flicking down and then back up Meng Yao's form to silently ask him those same questions. Only - well. It's less of a question, since Meng Yao doesn't look to be at full strength. ]

Shall we find a place to rest? I think we have much to catch up on.

❰ he had been worried that zewu jun wouldn't understand what he was attempting to do would balk at the casual familiarity in meng yao's words, or insist he complete his bow — but meng yao should have known better. zewu jun is not ranked number one just because he's attractive and strong, he's also intelligent. when he responds to meng yao's greeting in kind, with fond remembrance and informality, meng yao's smile relaxes a fraction, and he stops his careful glancing about for spies — what a good actor is zewu jun, that he can make such silly words sound so genuine.

the way zewu jun's eyes flick over meng yao in assessment does not go unnoticed, but meng yao just keeps smiling, giving away nothing. ❱

Yes, I would like that. I wasn't planning on staying here for very long so I didn't look for an inn — do you have a room somewhere? I can try to find one. Or if you are amenable to a walk, I passed a forest on my way into town.

❰ passed through one, more accurately, and found a nice, sizable cave that could serve two fugitives well enough, at least for a night. ❱

[ Lan Xichan is surely intelligent - it would be impossible to be the Lan Sect Leader if he were not - but as to the type of intelligence, well. His doesn't lend itself to artificial acting skills. In this case, they are fortunate that his burgeoning fondness for Meng Yao is genuine.

He knows well enough not to press further for an answer to the question he didn't ask - he had hardly answered Meng Yao's as to the state of his own health, after all, for this is not the place.

He has enough money with him for an inn, if they so chose, along with the scrolls and unbound books that are secreted away amongst his robes, but - they can't trust that he won't be recognized, if not personally then as a member of the Lan clan, and they couldn't truly talk without fear of being overheard. It's a quick decision. ]

I have not traveled very far yet. [ Much closer to a lie, and though he says it with a small smile and a neutral expression, it's not nearly as genuine. It feels as though he has traveled very far, indeed. ] I would appreciate the opportunity to walk a little further into the forest.

It did look very tranquil. Shall we go? ❰ meng yao sweep his arm out to invite zewu jun to join him in walking, and then they're on their way out of the city. it doesn't appear as though they're being followed, but meng yao keeps his eyes peeled for any suspicious people as they exit the village, positioning himself just a few steps behind zewu jun so that he can get between him and any attackers that may follow — not that he could provide much use except as a human shield, but it would at least give zewu jun enough warning that someone was upon them that he might be able to put up a better fight than if he was surprised.

thankfully, there's no trouble as they make their way into the forest. either the wen haven't caught up to zewu jun yet — unlikely, but possible — or they didn't consider this one small village worth sending spies to — more likely, but not likely enough for meng yao to stake both his and zewu jun's life on it. he keeps his eyes and ears sharp while they wend through the forest, leading zewu jun with quiet directions.

when they arrive at the cave he had found, he wastes no time in dropping into a deep bow. ❱

This one offers his most humble apologies for disrespecting Zewu Jun.

❰ please don't be mad! you didn't seem mad but PLEASE DON'T BE MAD!!! ❱

[ Similarly, Lan Xichen keeps himself angled just a little bit in front of Meng Yao, putting himself between him and any danger that may come as they moved towards the forest. He doesn't quite clutch the hilt of Shuoyue, but the hand that he would normally keep at the small of his back is much closer to where it rests on his hip.

Though of course, if he knew of Meng Yao's willingness to use himself as a human shield to protect another, he would - well. It speaks very highly of him, that he is willing to sacrifice himself to protect another, at the same time as he would fear it came from a place of not viewing himself as worthy as the one he saved.

But they reach the cave undisturbed, and although Lan Xichen knows that the Wen are still out there looking for him - for a moment, he allows himself to breath a sigh of relief at something like a place of safety.

In retrospect, he should have been expecting that - and perhaps he was, somewhat, because he reaction on instinct to catch Meng Yao's arms. ]

How could protecting my life be any disrespect? You must know who I am hiding from. [ His touch lingers, as it had the last times they'd come into contact, and allows himself to not pull away just yet. ] There's no need for that between us, most especially not now.

[ cont from here ]

The next morning does not quite bring the ability to focus and long stretches of clarity that Lan Xichen had hoped. He wakes up to Wanyin smelling as irresistible as the day before, and it's all he can do to make sure they take breaks for them to eat and drink, for them both to rest. He cannot seem to bring himself to spend too long on practical plans for the future.

The third day is different, slower. More settled. Although the idea of leaving Wanyin's side still makes him want to growl, his mind is clearer.

He still holds Wanyin's hand at breakfast, though, using his non-domninant hand to eat so he doesn't let go.

"A-Cheng," he says, running his thumb over the back of Wanyin's knuckles. "I thought to assure you that your secret would not leave this room. It may be more complicated now, but I still will. If you do not want a single soul to know, then they will not."

They will have to figure out a plan if Wanyin is pregnant, but Lan Xichen is more than willing to do what he needs to in order to make that happen.

The second morning brought more of the same from the night before with actual breaks for water and food. By the third day, Jiang Cheng feels more satisfied and loved and whole than he had in...well, probably his entire life. He's languid as he awakens and holds onto Xichen's hand through breakfast. His mind is a lot more clear than it had been just a few days ago.

It isn't unheard of for an omega to be a cultivator. It was just rare. Rarer still for such an omega to be a Sect Leader. But it can be done. It's happened before. The caveat was that such omegas were set up early on with an alpha cultivation partner so that the omega would not be taken advantage of. He had worried that would be the case for Jin Ling. Luckily, the boy turned out to be a beta.

"How would we court? How would we support the bond? A marriage?" he asks. Now that his mind is clear, he sounds so much more like himself, a frown creases his brow. After what they had been through the last few days, he can't stand to go back to the way things were.

It is a little ridiculous, to immediately melt when Wanyin brings up marriage - they are already bonded, of course marriage would be in the picture - and yet he does anyway. Lan Xichen can't quite help himself, and he leans in to press a kiss to the crease in Wanyin's brow.

"I had already intended to court you as an alpha, I could simply continue to do so. Initially, I planned to ask if you would allow me to spend one week a month with you at Lotus Pier."

He suspects they are quite past the need to ease into a courtship, however.

"For the longer term, I had considered proposing a rotating schedule. One month in Lotus Pier and one in Cloud Recesses, perhaps, or half a year in each. If others wonder how two alphas could marry, could be bonded so closely-" He raises and lowers one shoulder, rolling it back in as close as he ever gets to such a careless gesture as a shrug. "Let them speculate that I am an omega, if they choose. It would not be the first time."

His reputation has protected him from such insinuations that his pacifying nature may have normally brought, but he has occasionally heard it before from those unsavory enough.

It was strange to see Lan Xichen shrug but, indeed, the Lan Sect Leader had truly shrugged in Jiang Cheng's presence as to how their world would react to their pairing. There has to be an easier way to go back and forth.

"...if a door through a mirror to another room could be created, then a door to either place could be created, couldn't it?" he asks quietly.

He is not one for wicked tricks. But this trick is hardly wicked, now was it? Jiang Cheng was careful not to mention Jin Guangyao by name, not wishing to bring up the pains of the past with Xichen.

How the world may perceive them, at least, is something that Lan Xichen had given some thought to. When faced with Jiang Wanyin and Lan Xichen in a partnership, for those who would be inclined to think no such bond could exist between two alphas and assume one must be an omega, Lan Xichen would be the natural assumption.

He doesn't care.

But he does still, for a moment, as he considers the suggestion.

"It is easy to seal or disguise an entrance. We have such a thing in the Library Pavillion, and behind our wards in the back mountains."

Well. Not easy, but easy enough for a cultivator like Wanyin or Lan Xichen.

He feels no hesitation in revealing the location of their forbidden texts, or their safe chambers in the back mountains. As far as he is concerned, Waynin is already his spouse, and has as much right to that information as he does.

"But... yes, I suppose it could, with the correct modifications. It would be a perfect solution."

He swallows.

"Would you truly be all right with people thinking that you are the omega? I can't think anyone who would think so." In truth, he would think that people assumed that he was the omega, figure his secret out quickly. That would mean potential challengers to take down and away Jiang Sect but if he was bonded, his heats should be far less frequent. Especially if they have their own children. His heats would be next to nonexistent.

He looks at Xichen, who seems so willing to do all of this, to make it all work and his heart thumps loudly in his chest. What if he thinks he's not worth it after a while? What if Xichen changes his mind?

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