equivocations | open rp post

He wraps himself tighter around his tiger - his Wanyin - as he shifts back into his smaller human form, leaving no room for gaps between them. There's a pleased rumble, loud enough to fill the room, when Wanyin presses his forehead against his again. He breathes as deeply as he can, pulling in the scent of him like this so he can memorize it as he has his tiger form - there's subtle differences, but it's obvious now they belong to the same person.

His long tongue flicks out, wiping up the tears for him - and then darts back in as he changes his mind. He unwinds himself slowly as he shifts back, although not completely human.

His ears are still pointed, horns still sprout from his forehead, his tail shorter but still present - and when he presses human lips to his Wanyin's cheeks, his tongue is still forked where it brushes against his skin. His heart breaks at how it must have felt, to have to say his vows to someone and mean them in his heart to another -

He was fooling himself, when he ever believed either of them could be content like that.

"I heard them," he whispers. "I heard them and I wished it was you there, I thought only of you." He swallows roughly. "I gave you the crown prince's marriage ribbon last night."

The crown prince's marriage ribbon? Jiang Cheng looks down at the ribbon he clutches so tightly in his hand, then back at Lan Xichen. He's even more handsome like this. Jiang Cheng wonders...

He allows himself to feel into his tiger side. Managing to sprout ears atop his head and the tail to appear. Jiang Cheng frowns and snarls a little, not noticing his teeth are just a little sharp like a tiger's. He turns and looks back at Lan Xichen, moving back into his arms, wanting to feel him again. Not wanting to be away from him ever again.

"So we really got married last night instead of tonight."

His expression lights up as Wanyin shifts partially, gaining his adorable ears and his lovely tail, and even his sharp teeth.

"My tiger is so handsome in every form," he murmurs teasingly, feeling a little thrill at saying it out loud.

He wraps his arms around his tiger when he steps back into them, snaking one up the back of his shoulders so he can rub gently at one of his ears. They're even softer against his human skin - and now he can scratch a little harder without worrying about too sharp teeth.

"Last night was for us." There's a slow smile of realization as it really starts to sink in past the shock. "Tonight was for them. We can have both, my tiger, we can have us."

Seeing his dragon light up like that brings a joy to Jiang Cheng's own heart that he thought he would never feel again. He rubs his face against Xichen's and feels the rumble from deep within him when he feels the scratch along one of his ears. The entire chambers fill up with his purrs and Jiang Cheng freezes. That...certainly hasn't happened before. Neither has he been able to partially shift. What Xichen says has him holding his husband even tighter.

"Now and forever more, we can have us."

He beams, so happy he could have this, that finally, finally something good had happened in his life.

"My heart." He sounds utterly delighted at the purring - a very similar tone to the one he'd had the first time he heard his tiger purr, though of course, he hadn't called him his heart back then.

It makes him scratch more as he nuzzles his face into Wanyin's, reveling in the difference now that it is skin against skin rather than fur against fangs. Holding him this close, looking into his eyes - how could he have not known? His eyes are not quite the same, and yet they are, they are his tiger.

But of course, back when Jiang Wanyin was only a stranger, it would not have been proper for him to stare into his eyes like this even if he had wanted to.

He pulls one hand away so he can reach back to take Wanyin's, the one that still clutches his ribbon. His fingers tug carefully at it.

"May I?"

His voice aloud sounds so different than when they were speaking with their minds. Jiang Cheng hadn't given Xichen the time of day and yet if he had, he would've noticed, would've seen that Xichen and his dragon were one and the same. He looks at their joined hands. Everything's different yet everything's the same. There's no danger of one of them accidentally clawing the other or biting the other.

A look of confusion passes his features, his ears flick a little at the request, then he carefully opens his hand to allow Xichen to take the ribbon. His tail swishes back and forth, curled at the end in curiosity rather than annoyance.

"I was so close to calling for you," he admits quietly. "during the reception, during the ceremony."

The happiness in his Wanyin's eyes, the relaxed curiosity, the way he lets his tail swish and curl - such a difference from yesterday and this afternoon. If Lan Xichen let himself, he could work himself up with guilt at recalling how he hadn't pressed him when he was miserable, hadn't tried as hard as he should to comfort him.

But he doesn't. He's too happy for guilt, too overwhelmed with joy and disbelief.

"I would have come," he admits, equally quietly. "The way I felt, I would have left everything at one word from you." He runs his fingers over the ribbon. "I should have called for you. I promised I would when I started to lose myself, but I didn't know how else to get through a ceremony to someone who wasn't you."

He wraps the marriage ribbon around his tiger's neck again - he has to loop it around a few times to get it to sit securely now that he's human, and he ties it off with the silver jeweled cloud showing proudly.

Once he finishes the tie, Jiang Cheng shows off his neck.

"What do you think?"

He reaches up and runs his fingers along the silver jeweled cloud, smiling softly. Before Xichen could give his answer, Jiang Cheng puts his arms around him and kisses him. Finally. Finally, is able to kiss him as a human and feel lips against lips. The rush of joy still runs through his heart - his dragon, his beloved dragon whom he was ready to fight the world for is the same man that he had been arranged to spend the rest of his life with.

Whatever answer he might have given suddenly seems of little importance next to Wanyin kissing him. He sinks into it, one arm sliding around his waist and his other hand sinking into Wanyin's hair, stroking his fingers through it until he reaches his ear again.

His lips part just a little, sucking gently on Wanyin's lower lip before he breaks the kiss.

"I thought of this," he murmurs against Wanyin's lips, kissing him again. "So many times, even before last night. I wanted you."

Which had been... complicated, when they were a tiger and a dragon, but he had wanted anyway. Now he has him, now nothing can ever separate them again.

He feels the rumble in his chest again, purring loudly at the feeling of Xichen's fingers scratching along his ear. He gasps at the suck along his lip, feeling it stir the want deep within him. Jiang Cheng reaches up to hold his face, keeping him as close as he could. He kisses him back when he kisses him again.

"I wanted too."

That had been an awakening when he was older. He had wondered if his dragon had a human form, what it was, how it would feel to kiss, to hold. He kisses him again, finding himself drawn in again and again.

There's that purr again. He smiles into the kiss, and feels it pull an answering rumble from his own chest, a low, contented growl that only deepens when Wanyin holds his face close.

He wonders, now, that they're like this - what else might make his Wanyin purr. Could he scratch along his spine like he did with his tiger form? Mouth at his ears, press his face into his neck, kiss down his stomach? Would he let him run his hands over his body, exploring his human form until he knew it better than his tiger?

"Would you-" His tails swishes behind him, not in agitation, just absently as he attempts to word what he wants to say. "Would you be comfortable if we stayed like this tonight?"

"Yes."

His answer is immediate.

"I haven't...really tried it in this form before. It's always been one or the other," Jiang Cheng admits with a soft laugh.

He caresses at Xichen's cheek, bringing his hand up to caress along one of his horns, curious about it as he wasn't able to with his paw before. He traces his fingers, unrestrained along the sharp curve of Xichen's ear.

He smiles brightly at that response, at the ease between them. It's been there for a long time as a tiger and a dragon, of course, but it still feels good that they're able to just pick back up even in these forms.

"I have some, but not nearly as much as human or dragon."

Not enough for anyone to touch him, and certainly not like this. He doesn't expect the sensation of Wanyin touching his forehead and the base of his horn to send shivers down his spine, and it pulls another little rumbling growl from him. There's little sensation in the rest of his horns but that and the touch at his ear is enough to make him eagerly tilt his head into Wanyin's hand.

One hand smooths down Wanyin's spine until he gets to his tail, gently brushing his fingertips over it.

He beams when he sees Xichen lean into his touch. It's different than being around his dragon form and hearing the pleased rumble. He notices that there's more of a reaction at the base and reaches to run his fingers along the base, slowly grinning at him. He closes his eyes and arches into the hand along his spine. Jiang Cheng gasps when he feels his fingertips along his tail.

"My love. My dragon..." he sighs happily.

Oh, that beam is dangerous, especially when followed by that slow grin. He's gotten the impression of them before, but it's different seeing them on his human expression, different when they're paired with his fingers running over the base of his horns and sending little spikes of pleasure through him.

There's a thrill at the way his Wanyin arches into him, and he wants more, wants to run his hand over bare skin, wants to find the base of Wanyin's tail and see if it feels just as good as his horns.

He gives a soft, sudden inhale when Wanyin calls him my love, and he can't help but lean in to kiss him again.

"My heart, my tiger, I get to learn you all over again. I could not ask for anything better on our wedding night."

He kisses him back easily. It is their wedding night, after all. Jiang Cheng caresses along the collar of Xichen's wedding clothes, looking up at him.

"And I get to learn you all over again," he whispers against his lips.

His dark gaze flick down to where he moves the material and reveals Xichen's neck and some of his collarbones before flicking back up to his face again.

"If you want to...learn each other...like this," he says softly.

It's almost hypnotizing, looking down at his tiger in his human form. At his Wanyin, his husband, still wrapped up in his wedding clothes, and Lan Xichen can fully appreciate just how breathtaking he is now.

"Yes."

His response is immediate, eyes still locked on his Wanyin's. It's more noticeable when his ears grow red like this, pointed as they are.

"I've never done this with anyone else," he admits. "I only ever wanted you. But I have done a lot of reading."

He knew it would be expected for him to consummate his marriage, and he'd wanted to be prepared - though of course, he realized very quickly that any time he tried to imagine what he read about in practice, it was his tiger in human form that he thought of with him.

"Neither have I," he admits quietly.

He smiles softly and reaches up to touch the pointed reddened ears, carefully touching his forehead against Xichen's, his husband's. His dragon's.

"A friend of mine tried to prepare me with reading material too. Every time, I imagined you. I had no idea what you looked like or even if you had a human form. I just know that...I wasn't interested unless I imagined it was you with me," he whispers quietly. "Touching me, loving me. It was...a little awkward at first when I first would imagine it was you," he laughs.

His head tilts into his husband's hand at the touch, tail swishing in contentment behind him. It's... flattering, hearing that his tiger, too, had only been interested in this with him. Lan Xichen has never considered himself a possessive man - though admittedly, he could never give too much thought to the idea of his tiger with someone else, but he had been accepting of it when he thought there was no possibility for them.

Now, though, now they can have this, now he can enjoy the little shivers it sends through him when Wanyin says he imagined him touching him, loving him.

There's a quiet chuckle of his own as he tilts his head again to press a kiss to the inside of his tiger's wrist.

"Because you had no frame of reference for me other than a dragon?" he teases. "I was the same. It was complicated to imagine, and yet I found myself eagerly learning ways to please another when I thought of you being the one to receive them."

The things he read were interesting on their own, certainly, but he found himself with little desire to try them when he tried to imagine the nebulous figure that would be his arranged partner - only when he attributed it to his tiger.

"I'm glad that it is you who will be my first, and I yours. You were my first true friend, my first love, my first kiss, and now this."

He shivers a little, a purr sounding particularly loud when he feels the kiss to the inside of his wrist.

"You are my first everything, as well," he admits. "First friend, first person I've ever let myself be myself around, first person I trusted, that I loved."

Jiang Cheng leans close and scents his cheek against Xichen's cheek, as if he could scent the other in this hybrid human form. Another purr rumbles from himself. Jiang Cheng has a hard time pulling himself away from his husband, his dragon, his love, now that they know who the other actually is.

"The first time you held me when we were teens...when I came home, I--" He feels the red creep up along his neck, "I had your scent all over me and I couldn't help myself."

"My heart," he murmurs at hearing that he is his tiger's first everything as well, nuzzling against him when he scents him.

He slides one hand up his back between his shoulder blades, pressing his Wanyin closer so he can feel the vibrations of the purr. It feels more distant like this than when he'd held his tiger close in dragon form. Dampened by their clothes, he assumes, which only makes him more eager to get them out of them - as lovely as his Wanyin is in wedding clothes.

"You're not the only one," he admits, brushing the back of his knuckles over the flush on Wanyin's neck.

It sends a heavy spark of arousal through him, the thought of Wanyin pleasuring himself to thoughts of him, surrounded by his scent and imagining him - he doesn't know, and quite suddenly he wants to, he wants to know what it was in Wanyin's reading that interested him when he imagined Lan Xichen.

"What did you imagine me doing?"

He reaches up and touches the ribbon. It hangs loosely just like it did when it was first tied around his neck. Though surprising as his neck was much thicker the first time it was tied on him. Jiang Cheng is surprised that Xichen admits to thinking of him in such a way. He purrs even more at the touch along his back, despite the ear twitching.

"I--" He groans and covers his face, tail flicking back and forth to show his embarrassment. "Well, I had no idea if you had a human form. So you were kind of...faceless. But it was you. The--I had your scent all over me and some of it even lingered when I shifted back to human form. And you smell so good that I just...I just imagined you holding me. Huaisang just got me a cutsleeve book and it had...men holding each other. So I imagined you holding me tight."

That wasn't all. His ears twitch again.

"I...imagined us kissing."

There's another thrill, watching his husband touch their marriage ribbon. His husband, the love of his life, the only one he has ever wanted - it had been thrilling last night to tie it around him, but it was bittersweet, knowing he was making a promise that they wouldn't truly get to fulfill.

Now he still wears his ribbon, and he has him once again purring in his arms.

"We will never have to spend another day without each other." His tone is just a little bit wondrous - it still hasn't sunk in, that this is real, that they can have this. "I will hold you every night, until neither of us remember what it is like not to smell like each other."

When Wanyin says he imagined them kissing, Lan Xichen immediately leans down to kiss him, long and lingering - and when he breaks it he tilts his head up to press a kiss to one of those twitching ears.

"What else?" he whispers, voice a little rough with his arousal. "I want to know everything you imagined, my tiger, so I can make it real."

Jiang Cheng moans into the kiss, forgetting what he had been talking about. He feels the warmth all the way down to his toes and is dazed when the kiss breaks. The ear flicks at Xichen when he presses a kiss there. Like this, his voice reverberates more, sinks more deeply into Jiang Cheng and he shivers.

"You're already real by being here in my arms," he mumbles.

Luckily, Wei Wuxian had already snuck out by the time Jiang Cheng had come back that night, so he had time. He knew his brother in arms wouldn't return until dawn. He licks his lips and recalls the memory, being flushed and bewildered and needing to remain quiet.

"I...I had fantasized about us kissing," he repeats, "and touching you. I wondered if you would be cool to the touch if you had a human form."

His fingers move underneath the material of the red and gold marriage robes, touching Xichen's bare chest again.

"If you would make the same rumbling growls or not...how you'd--how strong your talons are but hold me so tightly that I never am scared of being hurt by them. That you'd let me...kiss you, feel you." When he got older, the fantasies were more and more detailed. "I'd imagine you having me like those books. If you'd be gentle. Or if you'd be rough if I asked for it."

His pulse quickens when his Wanyin shivers in his arms, and he kisses his ear again before he pulls back to look at him as he talks. Everything he shares just makes his heart beat faster, breath catching a few times when Wanyin licks his lips, when he touches more of his chest.

He moves the fabric of his robes aside even more, pushing them off of his shoulders so they pool down around his waist and expose his chest completely. Then he covers Wanyin's hand on his chest with one of his and slowly slides it down over his abdomen, the muscles in his stomach twitching a little, unused to any kind of touch like this.

"I would let you do anything you want, my heart, give you anything you asked for."

It isn't an exaggeration. Oh, he has ideas of his own, things he'd read that he'd like to try, but he only ever imagined them in the context of what his tiger would like, how he could bring him pleasure, what he might do to ensure his tiger felt the depth of his love.

"I imagined you in my arms, holding you as a human as we did as dragon and tiger. That you'd let me explore and see how I could make you purr like this. I-" The whole of his ears go red now, not just the tips, and he falters for a moment before he keeps going. "I wondered if you would want it gentle, if I could open you up so slowly that I'd have time to tell you everything about how I love you. If you would like it if I didn't hold back. I remembered your strength when we tussled together, and I wondered how it might translate to being together like this."

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